A Couple Things:

1. I like the noise the snow is making, hitting the window and the aluminum-like box that covers an empty space where an air conditioner should be, in our bedroom. (I feel like that wording killed the whole thought, but I don't know how else to describe this damn thing that sticks out of our wall. Man, is it an eyesore.)

2. I called out of work today, and even though I have no voice and there is no question that it's a valid excuse, I STILL feel guilty. I guess I don't feel as bad because it was Linda who answered the phone, and Linda who was in charge, and Linda is my unit manager and we're like peas in a pod. She's the one who talked me up to Vivian so I could get my switched shift. Anyway, I am thankful to have some time to rest and hopefully get this crap out of my system, or at least down a notch (I hope).

I've had a fever now for 3 days, though this morning and yesterday, it mostly hovered around 99 degrees, so that's not terrible. Now there's also coughing up yellow gunk, congestion, sore throat, and laryngitis. Yippy skippy.

3. I felt so rotten yesterday that I slept most of the morning away, and then I rode in with Cassy to work. I planned on running out quick to get something for Kevin-- He mentioned that he didn't have a snow brush, so I was gonna sneak one into his car and have it waiting for him. However, I didn't want to hold Cassy up because I know she likes to get right home after work, and by then, I agreed. So, I didn't do anything... and poor Kev was asleep when I came home, anyway. Then he woke up and apologized for not doing the dishes, so we agreed to step back a day and catch up. (We are doing our Love Dare book, after watching Fireproof which was pretty terrible and cheesy, but I should have expected that if I had looked closer and seen that Kirk Cameron was involved. Yuck. Anyway, the book is a nice thing to do for 40 days.)

4. I need a NY winter coat. The few things I have hardly qualify. I have one that might make the cut, but it's so un-me that I never wear it. It's a Columbia ski jacket, though it wasn't one of the super expensive ones, cause I wouldn't pay more than $100 for a jacket, and it would have to be KILLER for that. Anyway, I just want some oversized jacket with fake fur around the hood. Like the killer from the Urban Legend movie. Hahaha that will be what I think of every time I see a coat like that.

Something I Needed

So, how many of you saw the 7-year-old girl, January (Jani), on Oprah recently? She is a severe schizophrenic, and I've spent the last two hours reading her father's blog (http://www.janisjourney.org), watching the video and reading the articles about her from the LA Times, and finding what I could on Oprah's website.

I'm amazed at all these poor parents are struggling with, and it just reinforces something in me. When I was in 9th grade, my best friend was quietly removed from school, finished the year at home with a private tutor, and then shipped off to a private school for the remainder of high school. I later found out she was bulimic, then anorexic, depressed, suicidal, and practiced self-injury. All of these things were a secret that I still feel like I should have picked up on.

From the time I learned this (about junior year), I vowed to learn as much as I possibly could on the subjects. I read, read, read. Even taking the personal issue out of the equation, I find these things to be terribly interesting. My favorite things to read about (non-fiction, that is) include mental illness, eating disorders, and substance abuse.

For the longest time, I wanted to work in a hospital with people who struggle with these things. Now, as a CNA, I am dying to go back to school. I like my job enough, but I know I am cutting myself short-- I am doing work anyone could do, probably killing my back at 23, and making what doesn't even come to $18,000 at the end of the year.

I always said I wouldn't be a nurse because my grandmother was, for a couple years, and she thinks she was God's greatest gift to humanity because of this. (Yet her husband is probably the worst cared-for diabetic you've ever seen in your life. Some nurse she is.) Anyway, I didn't want to listen to the "following in my footsteps" talk, or get the "Finally! You're doing something with your life!" comments. My family is disgusted that I have a 4-year degree and am wasting my time wiping 80- and 90-year-old butts every night at the nursing home. Truth be told, so am I, but this is what happens when you are forced into a major you don't like!

I feel like catching this family's story was just another point in the right direction. I believe I am going to go back to school, and I believe I will be an RN. I believe I will work in a hospital or a rehab clinic for eating disorders or substance abuse, preferably somewhere warm! I believe that all of those pieces fit together for a reason, and whether it's soon or down the road a ways, I am looking forward to getting my foot in where it belongs.